Snapshot of a Student's Day at School

The following is a list from a recent class directed at public school teachers, sent to a mother in my homeschooling group:

"This is the breakdown of the 390 minutes that a typical student spends in school each day between 1st and 5th or 6th grades."

15 minutes Interruptions
55 minutes Discipline of students (interrupts instruction time)
15 minutes Waiting
25 minutes Lunch
55 minutes Individual problems & questions (usually not theirs)
45 minutes Transitions (walking, changing subjects)
3 hours Instruction time

"In fact, I'll add that the instructor of this particular course held up this handout, and she, NOT a homeschooler at all, said, "And can you wonder why the homeschoolers think we're wasting kids' time? They can get done what you accomplish in half the time, just because they don't have 30 kids in the room to deal with." (That was the lead-in to improving motivation in students, and better classroom management skills.) --Finish Line"

I've said before and firmly believe that the administrative process of education hinders our teachers' abilities to educate our kids. The criticism has never been towards our teachers, but rather the system in which they are forced to operate.

The Problem of Pain

I was going to write about how to deal with the Virginia Tech tragedy from a perspective of faith. It's hard. It's hard to understand why heinous things happen and why people behave heinously.

I'll be settling in to reread my copy of C.S. Lewis' The Problem of Pain. If I could buy copies for everyone, I would. Instead, I'll highly suggest those who've not read it to do so.

In the meantime, I've placed a moratorium on television in our house. Too much sadness. Winter has relinquished its hold on St. Louis, for the time being. My irises are blooming. Someone once said that babies are God's sign that He hasn't abandoned this world. I believe that spring is also a sign.

Today we held class on a blanket in our backyard, our little patch of earth surrounded by historic brownstones, high rises, all under the gaze of the Arch. We helped Liam get through one of his early reader books. We cranked up the brightness on my laptop and dove into nostalgia.

Remember the Letter People? I grew up on this show. I can sing the opening theme; my favorite character was Tall T, a big-talking Texan fellow. The consonants spoke in alliterations; the vowels in assonance. I used to drive my mother crazy imitating their speech.

We watched a ton of clips; I've bookmarked them for future use. Still my favorite, complete with the show theme:

Yet Another Reason Why I'm Hard on Area Schools

Or, why you don't hire a skeeze to run a school district.

On Evolution

Over the months I’ve gotten a bit of e-mail asking where I stand on the evolution vs. creationism issue. I don’t like answering such questions because I’ve found that people tend to use your answer in two ways:
1) as an invitation to judge you for your beliefs
2) a way to pigeonhole you into a stereotypical category

and the caca hits the fan.

I especially loathe the discussion because almost always someone will refuse to discuss intelligently and call you “stupid” because you don’t agree with their opinion on the theory of evolution. You know, because diversity is only truly diverse when we all think, act, and speak the same way.

(The gist is this: I believe certain things which may or may not include facets of both creationism and evolution and what I believe is my business. I respect your opinion, you respect mine, if we can’t live in peace with it, then that’s your problem. Comprenez?)

Last night Chris and I previewed National Geographic’s “Animals in the Womb” which we Tivo’d for Liam. The program is based upon evolutionary theory. It stated that all embryos look alike in the beginning and how this was major evidence of primordial stew. It’s odd; I look at all of this and see a common link in intelligent design. Perspectives are amusing.

At one point the narrator stated: “The dolphin fetus develops bones within the flipper, more evidence, scientists say, of their land ancestry.”

The conjecture was infinite levels of awesome. It reminded me of that Monty Python animated short that opens their “Archeology Today” skit. That animated intro perfectly sums up what I think of the theory of evolution:

The program discussed the dolphins’ use of eco-location.

“More evidence,” I interjected, “of the dolphins’ submarine ancestry.”

As one dolphin probed the sandy ocean bottom for prey I told Chris that it bore resemblance to a metal detector.

“Because it was totally the dolphin ancestor,” Chris explained.

“And do you know who the raccoons’ ancestor is?” I asked.

“Crooks?” Chris replied.

“Awesome.”

The feature gave special attention to the rear buds which formed just above the tail on the dolphin fetus. The buds appear and then retract, only to disappear completely.

“Leg buds. More evidence of land ancestry,” the narrator chirped.

Chris mentioned how a dolphin was discovered a few weeks ago, washed up on shore, dead, and with back flippers.

“They’re so sure that they used to have legs or rear flippers,” Chris said. “Like, what if they’re evolving and beginning to develop back flippers now? They’re so positive that they have everything in the correct order – fish sprouting legs and walking on land. What if it was the other way around?”

It seems to me that every generation of scientists are utterly convinced of their own infallibility. Not long ago, the world was flat and the universe orbited around Earth. We don’t have everything figured out and I don’t know if we ever will, which is why I object to teaching any theory as fact.

Let’s act evolved in the comments and be respectful. I just realized that the Geico Cavement would take total offense to that.

Shut Up, Pat Robertson

I’m going out on a limb here, this could be dangerous. However, this is deserving.

Pat Robertson, you do not talk to God, no more than anybody else does. You are not Jesus’ favorite simply because you’re on a campy “news” network and claim to be a Christian. You are not the new Nostradamus simply because you make these way out predictions and say outrageous things. That makes you Rosie O’Donnell, not Nostradamus.

Would you like to know why some people are hostile to Christians? Because of people like you, Pat Robertson:

“'Pat Robertson predicted Tuesday that a terrorist attack on the United States would result in "mass killing" late in 2007.
"I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear," he said during his news-and-talk television show "The 700 Club" on the Christian Broadcasting Network. "The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that.’”

“Well, the Lord didn’t say ‘nuclear’ per say, but he did say that He, in His Almighty Righteousness, would like for me to have a million dollars.” Whatever Pat. Shut up. Maybe I would like you if what spewed from your mouth was on line with what is in the Bible. [my quote]

“"I have a relatively good track record," he said.”Sometimes I miss."

Hi, contradictory much? If Robertson is claiming that God is telling him these things, how can he be wrong? How can He be wrong? To assert that God gave him this information and yet that it has sometimes been incorrect is invalid simply because in Christianity, God is omnipotent, all-knowing. He isn’t wrong, ever.

Nice slip there, Pat. By chance, Mr. Robertson, have you checked out 1 Corinthians 13:8, wherein it states that love has outlasted all of those gifts “…But where there are prophecies, they will cease …?”

Do I really believe that out of all people to confer with, God is going to pick some big-mouthed religious broadcaster who says things like the reason Ariel Sharon had a stroke was because God was punishing him? Pat Robertson is a snake oil salesman and he and those like him are the reason that I left church during my teen years and almost never came back. I saw the discrepancies between what they were preaching and what was actually printed in the Bible. I wanted no part of that sort of organized religion.

Whenever Pat opens his mouth I cringe. I become very angry. I’m angry because he is misleading. Whether he is purposefully misleading for way of personal gain or just really that ignorant, I don’t know. I don’t claim to know. All I know is that stuff like this is wrong and not representative of my faith. It puts a heavier burden of stereotype upon my shoulders that I have to associate myself with a man who claims the faith, too.

Should Your Kids Play with Toy Guns?

This week’s Mom Answers especially caught my eye with this question:

“My son does not own 1 toy gun. I feel that this should not be allowed. Just want your feedback on toy guns? Do you agree or disagree on having your child play or own toy guns?”

What a loaded question. Ha. Ha ha. This isn't homeschooling per say, but it's still education - and a great question.

I have two sons who are obsessed with explosives, fire, swords, lightsabers, any sort of mock weapon. We have an entire toy basket full of every plastic gun imaginable. When a toy gun isn’t present they are known to create makeshift guns from their fingers or even the tampon from my purse as I’m loading groceries onto the conveyor belt at the store.
Liam knows the difference between an automatic, semi-automatic, shot gun, etc. He also knows that if he ever came across a real gun that he must immediately tell an adult and he’s fully aware that what comes out of a barrel can never be undone.

I had a friend once - she’s moved to another state and we haven’t talked much since – who is adamantly against guns. She assigns guns humanistic qualities and says that “guns are evil,” and that “guns kill people.” I’ve been around guns my whole life and I’ve yet to see a gun get up and decide that it wants to shoot somebody. I’ve never seen a gun with a vendetta. I have, however, heard of people who use guns to shoot someone and if there isn’t a gun available to them, I’ve even heard of people using knives, pipes, and rope to hurt others. To take the blame and responsibility from the person and pass it to the weapon is dangerous and it undermines gun education.

So it would seem that the priority should be to educate kids to respect life, how a gun works, the proper uses for a gun, and gun safety instead of forbidding any firearm – plastic or not – into your home, pretending that guns don’t exist and hoping that your kids are never faced with the issue.

There was a great line in the “Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers” (geez, FORGIVE my geekery, but Tolkien is HOT) where Aragorn is surprised at Eowyn’s skill with a sword.

“You have some skill with a blade,” he remarked.

Eowyn replied “Women of Rohan learned long ago that those who do not live by the sword can still die upon them.”

“Christmas, that’s fantastic,” I exclaimed to Chris in the theater.

I’ve known three people in my life who were killed by guns. The first was an accident. A friend in my friend’s neighborhood was showing off his gun to one of his friends and accidentally blew his head off.

The second occurred during school when a friend’s relative swallowed the barrel of his father’s handgun and ate a bullet.

The third was a friend who stuck a gun to his temple and pulled the trigger.

The main theme uniting these three deaths is in two parts: The parents were irresponsible and did not properly store their firearms. The second is that the kids were not taught to value life.

I come from a family of NRA members and hunters, my kids know that when you pull that trigger you are either a) going to eat the animal that it takes out or b) take out an immediate and fatal threat by an intruder to you or your family’s well-being.

We keep our guns locked in a safe in our home; my in-laws have their guns locked away in a heavy-duty cabinet. My kids know that it is irresponsible to allow your firearms to lie about the house.

When I was a kid I took a hunter’s safety course which was invaluable. I think every child, if they are not already, should be required to take such a course.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t keep a gun in your home. It’s dangerous to avoid the issue. It doesn’t matter if you forbid your kids to play with toy guns. What matters is how and what you teach them about firearms. I personally believe that pretend play is great practice for real life and an excellent teaching tool. You can easily channel positive messages into their play by way of simple suggestion.
For instance – when Liam and Ewan play with their toy guns in my house, they are the cops going after the bad guys or they are soldiers in our military; they may even be spies working to eradicate a threat to national security. In their play, guns are leverage to their power for good. Most importantly, we teach them as they grow that there is a difference between the world of pretend and actual reality. One of our jobs is to cultivate the recognition of, and a healthy respect for the two.

You can teach your child about violence without having him or her engage in it. You want to make sure that your child knows what to do should they come across a firearm. Teaching about guns, or even allowing a kid to play with a toy gun, is not encouraging any sort of violent tendencies. You have to remember: your children will learn one way or another whatever it is that you do not teach them first in your home.

My reason for this post isn’t to recruit an army of prospective NRA members, but to help prevent your children from ending up like the three friends I lost in my youth.

Thanksgiving isn't Disney

I sort of have a problem with the kittens and sunshine way Thanksgiving is recounted in modern times. If we were to hold true to the real Thanksgiving, there would be pillaging and disease and only a handful of indigenous people would be invited to the “feast” that pilgrims held – the only time they dined with the “natives.” The Thanksgiving story has long been retold through rose-colored glasses.

I say this mostly because of my heritage; my family is of documented indigenous descent, my family made the roll books, some died on the Trail of Tears. Spank you, Andrew Jackson. That may be as political as I get, picking on a dead ex-president.

I don’t live on a reservation, I don’t face prejudice everyday because I’m not 100%-blooded indigenous (I personally don’t care for the “Indian” and “native” terms, sorry), I sit here in my privileged world with my luxury laptop, my icebox full of food for Thursday’s feast. Yeah, I know, I HAVE IT SO BAD. Forgive me, lest I sound like one of those trust-fund rebels, but regardless, I’ve always found this happy little Thanksgiving picture is a bit irksome.

Liam has studied pilgrims in his lessons; he’s learned a bit about Plymouth Rock this month and that many people base Thanksgiving on a bunch of expats who fled/were run off their homeland in order to escape dominance by one denomination of Christianity – oddly enough, what they recreated here is exactly what they ran from in England - but I’m teaching him that this scenario is not all Disney and that Thanksgiving has nothing to do with it.

I’m teaching my kids what Thanksgiving is: about coming together with friends and family and thanking God for giving us the good life. I’m also teaching them what it isn’t: a completely exaggerated meal shared between pilgrims and indigenous people (a meal that only a handful were invited to as a way to make peace after the indigenous people were attacked; a meal never again repeated).

They’re learning that Thanksgiving is about taking inventory of our lives and giving God credit. Recognizing our blessings. That is truly thanksgiving. I hope you have many things to be thankful for this year.

G.I. Jesus

Seriously, I laughed out loud when I read this article: “Toys for Tots Rejects Jesus Doll.”

I think it’s amusing that people value political correctness over whether or not a kid will have a toy with which to play. I see their point, but I think it’s all dramadramadrama.

This is what had me going:

“Grein also questioned whether children would welcome a gift designed for religious instruction. 'Kids want a gift for the holiday season that is fun,' he said.”

I have to admit that like a G.I. Jesus™ with parachute capabilities and respectively-sized Hummer would be way cooler.

A Conversation: What’s Going on in Our Schools?

While flipping through the channels the other night, Chris paused on a showing of “Elephant” on HBO.

Dana: “Did you hear that a school in Albuquerque [later determined a hoax] was on lockdown today?”

Chris: “No.”

Dana: “Somebody attacked a girl with a knife or something. What on earth is going on in our schools?”

Chris: “The fabric of society is tearing apart. That’s why I’m not sure if I want to bring any more kids into this world.”

Dana: “No, that’s WHY you should. Raise them with love, teach them to respect life, and even it out.”

Chris: “You’ve got to fix what’s broken first. You can’t bring anyone else in until you fix what’s broken.”

Dana: “Chris, humanity has always been broken.”

What do you think? (Don’t get troll-y!)