The Ususal Doubts

The other day a new, non-denominational city school contacted me and told me about their tuition-free (normally about $5k) first year.

I’ve never before felt so tempted.

Why?

As a parent you doubt yourself 24-7. About everything. From ohmygawd he’s not eating organic babyfood will that give him allergies to ohmygawd he fell off his bike and ohmygawd is my discipline exasperation or real discipline?

Couple that with the neurotic worrying homeschooling can bring. I say “can bring” because I’ve met some moms who have a petrillion kids and they school them all at home in their dining room and no one screams, cries, pitches a tantrum and mom NEVER runs out of ideas. I have one word to describe you women: ROBOTS.

A homeschooling parent always doubts herself. I am constantly wondering if I am doing the best that I can with Liam, if I am providing an enriching enough environment, if he’s on par with or ahead of his peers, or, God forbid, behind in anyway.

See that’s the only benefit I can see to a public school: you can identify the weak kids and the strong kids early on. (The downside to that is the latter holds back the former and the former can sometimes push the pace beyond the latter's reach.) As Liam isn’t yet old enough to join in the older-elementary study groups for our homeschool group – and his socialization doesn’t include sitting with other kids doing the exact same work – I can’t tell. I do know that his language skills are advanced, so pointed out by his pediatrician (who suspects that he may be “gifted,” though believes as I do, that the testing for such is more for the parents than the kids at this age) and a few certified educators in our homeschool group. He reads well, has little problem with sounding out words. In the beginning his skills were uneven; he grasped math and raced through those lessons faster than with phonics. I received a heavy liberal arts education and while Chris’s engineering background greatly tempers this, Liam’s language art skills are now equal, if not greater, than his math skills.

Chris and I know that if we were to stop homeschooling Liam and place him in a mainstream school we might not be able to reverse our position. Well, that’s just what Chris believes, I disagree. I don’t want Liam to be held back by other kids if he’s advanced just as I wouldn’t want him to hold other kids back if he’s not.

It’s a temptation, all right.

But if this school was the right choice for us, I feel as though I wouldn’t hesitate. I would know it. The truth is, I don’t.

Does this Mean I'm a "Goody-Goody?"

I've taken maybe three of those online tests ever in my life, but the one Amy linked was interesting. I had to post my results-o. I thought it was funny that the test didn't ask whether or not we've ever woken up with a hangover, whether we've exceeded modesty with regards to our language; it didn't ask about our bad days when we've shaken our fist at the sky. But may in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. Maybe it boils down to belief. Don't you love how over-dramatic I can get and how I make a thing out of an online test? YEAY!:

      

Your Score: Pure Light.

      

You scored 250 Light and 50 Darkness!

             

      What darkness exists in this world trembles before faith, hope, and beauty. No amount of catastrophe can change shake your conviction that there is more right in the universe than wrong. You are a beacon to those who wander within the grey, championing belief, fighting defeatism.       

Link: The Light or Dark Test written by ahurkonov.

Snapshot of a Student's Day at School

The following is a list from a recent class directed at public school teachers, sent to a mother in my homeschooling group:

"This is the breakdown of the 390 minutes that a typical student spends in school each day between 1st and 5th or 6th grades."

15 minutes Interruptions
55 minutes Discipline of students (interrupts instruction time)
15 minutes Waiting
25 minutes Lunch
55 minutes Individual problems & questions (usually not theirs)
45 minutes Transitions (walking, changing subjects)
3 hours Instruction time

"In fact, I'll add that the instructor of this particular course held up this handout, and she, NOT a homeschooler at all, said, "And can you wonder why the homeschoolers think we're wasting kids' time? They can get done what you accomplish in half the time, just because they don't have 30 kids in the room to deal with." (That was the lead-in to improving motivation in students, and better classroom management skills.) --Finish Line"

I've said before and firmly believe that the administrative process of education hinders our teachers' abilities to educate our kids. The criticism has never been towards our teachers, but rather the system in which they are forced to operate.

Training Up a Child

Liam recently started singing opera. He's fascinated by music, even more fascinated with how certain instruments make sounds and that he is capable of making it himself. When he was a toddler he sat at the piano and would hit every key and in turn find its corresponding octave. Chris and I stood and watched him, slack-jawed. We felt two things:

1) How awesome are we? WE TOTALLY MADE A GENIUS. Best Parent Ever award here we come! Can we get honorary memberships in MENSA for this?

2) We felt completely stupid and inadequate as human beings because the most we did at his age was crap in our diapers and pick our noses.

Liam is compelled to seek out music. It works great, as it's what Chris does for a living, so he's never without an teacher or a cheerleader. Because he exhibits so much skill in music, I began to think that he was put on this earth to do something with it.
I believe that each of us has a skill, and that the purpose of life is to figure out that skill and use it for a bigger purpose; along with raising the next generation and helping them find their calling. I don't believe in destiny; I just don't believe in coincidences.

And then I thought about Proverbs 22:6:
"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."

I always assumed that this meant to instill a good moral fiber in our kids; to nurture their faith. And then I thought about Liam and about how there has to be a reason he is so musically inclined. As I said, I don't believe in chance.

Then I started thinking that maybe this passage also applies to a child's natural gifts. My job as a parent is to encourage Liam's abilities; I need to facilitate his musical training. It's obviously the way he is meant, and wants, to go. So in addition to nurturing his faith and teaching him how to be a good and faithful person, we're teaching him how he can use his natural talents for a greater purpose, a purpose other than self-glorification.

In a way, it's redefined our homeschooling approach. And if he develops a skill in, and a love for, something else, we'll encourage that, too.

What Qualifies You Homeschooling Parents?

"Skeptic" writes:

I'm not being abusive in asking these questions, so don't get overly defensive. I want to know your honest answers.

1) What qualifies any of you home schooling parents to educate your children at home? I'm sure some of you are providing a better option than what is offered in some of the public schools available to you, but teachers have to get 4 year degrees to do what they do.

2) I suspect that most home schoolers have at least a partial religious motivation for home schooling. How do you non-religious home schooling parents deal with the 'in-your-face' religious types that I fear crowd this group of parents?

3)How can home schooling parents of more than 2 children honestly give the effort needed to educating the children? I don't believe you can be teaching a 9, 7, and 4 year old at the same time. That's just my conjecture.

These are great questions; many of them have been answered in the archives. Here are my answers:

1) Teachers also get teaching manuals which gives them step-by-step instructions on how to teach. I’m not slamming teachers, but just because someone has a teaching degree does not guarantee success in the classroom. If it did, our country’s academic test scores would reflect that. I know of some teachers don’t even teach subjects in which they earned their degree.

I also believe that teachers are hindered by the bureaucratic educational administration. I believe that system to be the absolute death of modern education.

Most homeschooling parents have college degrees. Every state has different regulations for homeschoolers.

The biggest thing that qualifies me (and the majority of homeschooling parents) is that I love my children more than a teacher ever could thus am predisposed to do the absolute best I can. I want them to succeed and I will do whatever it takes, even bringing in a tutor or re-evaluating our educational plan if I discover that I am not able to handle it. If our schools could do the same by our kids!

2) I honestly find this question to be bigoted because it immediately places a negative value on religion and anyone who ascribes to one. There are kooky homeschoolers just as there are kooky public schoolers – just as there are “in-your-face” secularists. How do they deal with them? By teaching their children by example and demonstrating the tolerance that our society preaches. Diversity!

3) How can many teachers instruct an over-crowded classroom of thirty students? Those unfamiliar with homeschooling, as all homeschoolers used to be, assume that you have to place your children’s education in tidy little anal-retentive blocks of time. You don’t. Homeschooling is flexible, integrated. Homeschooling can occur all day, at different times of the day, year-round, or not. The books in my sidebar profile families who do just this – I know families with five-plus kids who do a wonderful job! I teach a kindergartner and do preschool with a toddler, which pales in comparison to the academic loads of some homeschooling families. While Liam practices in his workbook, I start Ewan on a puzzle. When I review blends with Liam, Ewan colors. Additionally, there are unit studies which are designed to teach various aged students. If you’re organized and dedicated, it can work.

What say you on these questions? Give your answers in the comments.

Kids Love Fire

There's nothing more American and an impromptu lesson on how to set things on fire. I hope everyone had a safe 4th and didn't lose any limbs. I have an upcoming post which will require audience participation in answering questions on our teaching "qualifications."