I Need to Borrow an Amish Family

I’ve decided to ditch KONOS, a unit study curriculum that I blogged about awhile back. I purchased it secondhand at a homeschool curriculum store; it didn’t set me back much.

As we’ve waded through our first year I’ve used things that worked for our family and things that haven’t, which I’ve discarded. Some of it I may come back to at a later date; other things I won’t. KONOS just isn’t where we’re at, grade and age-wise – especially family size-wise. I feel that it is better geared to large families, older students, junior high and high school, not so great for younger elementary kids and families who are just starting out and have but one student. Sometimes it felt as though the lessons were way out in left field and were tangent to, not a part of, a lesson. For instance, I could care less about naming every single piece of armor worn by a knight; all Liam cares about is whether they used their swords to lop off bad guys’ heads. I kept phasing out more and more lessons until I got to the point where I thought “This is ridiculous.”

I put the book back on the shelf almost two months ago and last night I packed it away in a moving box. Maybe in the future. Maybe not. I like that I have the freedom to keep the things that work well and ditch the things that don’t; I’m not bounded to the state to keep a certain curriculum if it’s ill-suited to the task.

I’m still doing my core lessons with ABeka, with which I’m thrilled. We’re phonics-heavy and one of my goals is to instill superior reading and analyzation skills and this curriculum is ideal for it. I’ve been supplementing the core lessons with things I’ve pulled off the internet; I’ve let the holidays and seasons dictate what will be the focus of a particular week’s lesson. It forces me to make learning more integral. It was an accidental goal achieved.

In the meantime, I have a rotten sense of humor. Forgive.

On Evolution

Over the months I’ve gotten a bit of e-mail asking where I stand on the evolution vs. creationism issue. I don’t like answering such questions because I’ve found that people tend to use your answer in two ways:
1) as an invitation to judge you for your beliefs
2) a way to pigeonhole you into a stereotypical category

and the caca hits the fan.

I especially loathe the discussion because almost always someone will refuse to discuss intelligently and call you “stupid” because you don’t agree with their opinion on the theory of evolution. You know, because diversity is only truly diverse when we all think, act, and speak the same way.

(The gist is this: I believe certain things which may or may not include facets of both creationism and evolution and what I believe is my business. I respect your opinion, you respect mine, if we can’t live in peace with it, then that’s your problem. Comprenez?)

Last night Chris and I previewed National Geographic’s “Animals in the Womb” which we Tivo’d for Liam. The program is based upon evolutionary theory. It stated that all embryos look alike in the beginning and how this was major evidence of primordial stew. It’s odd; I look at all of this and see a common link in intelligent design. Perspectives are amusing.

At one point the narrator stated: “The dolphin fetus develops bones within the flipper, more evidence, scientists say, of their land ancestry.”

The conjecture was infinite levels of awesome. It reminded me of that Monty Python animated short that opens their “Archeology Today” skit. That animated intro perfectly sums up what I think of the theory of evolution:

The program discussed the dolphins’ use of eco-location.

“More evidence,” I interjected, “of the dolphins’ submarine ancestry.”

As one dolphin probed the sandy ocean bottom for prey I told Chris that it bore resemblance to a metal detector.

“Because it was totally the dolphin ancestor,” Chris explained.

“And do you know who the raccoons’ ancestor is?” I asked.

“Crooks?” Chris replied.

“Awesome.”

The feature gave special attention to the rear buds which formed just above the tail on the dolphin fetus. The buds appear and then retract, only to disappear completely.

“Leg buds. More evidence of land ancestry,” the narrator chirped.

Chris mentioned how a dolphin was discovered a few weeks ago, washed up on shore, dead, and with back flippers.

“They’re so sure that they used to have legs or rear flippers,” Chris said. “Like, what if they’re evolving and beginning to develop back flippers now? They’re so positive that they have everything in the correct order – fish sprouting legs and walking on land. What if it was the other way around?”

It seems to me that every generation of scientists are utterly convinced of their own infallibility. Not long ago, the world was flat and the universe orbited around Earth. We don’t have everything figured out and I don’t know if we ever will, which is why I object to teaching any theory as fact.

Let’s act evolved in the comments and be respectful. I just realized that the Geico Cavement would take total offense to that.

Special Offer for St. Louis Readers

Sorry to those who don't live in the Lou, but hey. Our seasons are artic, spring, and August, WE DESERVE THIS. The North American tour of "Edward Scissorhands" has offered Mamalogues readers 50% of tickets for the St. Louis production. This was one of the best films ever burned to celluloid and hi! Matthew Bourne is choreographing (wherein you learn that I studied ballet for fourteen years, also studied under Savion Glover, and am a biiig dance nerd), directing, devising, and doing magic for the stage adaptation. In layman's terms, it cannot suck. I cannot wait to see it.

Here's a link where you can read all the nitty-gritty, fine print details including where and how to buy tickets and receive the discount.

He Gets That From His Father

Just a quick note of thanks to the votes of confidence regarding my previous post. Obviously the latest bit of unrest with our local public school system is unnerving since it seems to be such a power struggle rather than about education. (I'm glad for the other traditional options mentioned in the comments.)

But you know what? Homeschooling is so versatile, so pliable, it can work around anything. Natural disasters. Health scares. Anything. When you've been conditioned so long to think that true learning must happen while at a desk in a specific block of time it's difficult to switch to a less institutional integrated learning approach. I'm still learning. That's one of the things that this blog is all about. Again, thanks. Don't ever undervalue the comments you leave on a website.

On a totally unrelated topic, this is the most smart-alecked prayer ever uttered by a five-year-old:

"God, I'm sorry that I sassed my mom today but she sassed me first so I think you should do something about that. Amen."

I Don't Want a "Back Up" Plan

After a week on the market our house sold. My happiness and excitement is tempered by the price for which our house sold; we didn't compromise our bottom line, but still.

We're moving in several weeks. We're leaving the outskirts of civilization (I don't think that I'm a "country" sort of person) and moving to a three-story house in the city. Until now, there were only a couple of things that I knew I was going to miss: our wildly wooded backyard and the newish neighbors that moved in two Christmases ago, the only people in our neighborhood with whom we regularly talk to. I'm going to miss the goofy little idiosycrancies of living in such a small town, but that's another post. I'll also miss living close to Chris's parents, though we are so busy we don't see them much more than when we lived in the city when Liam was born.

The other thing I am going to miss shocks me. I'm going to miss the relatively high-rated public school system. Sure, I've complained previously about being forced to pay for an educational choice when we don't use it as no one pays for our alternative choices. I disagree with public education on many, many issues. The state and I have different definitions of success and I know for certain that no one is more passionately devoted to my child's education besides myself and God.

But.

There's always a but. Ready to stick its foot in the door right before you close it.

The area we're moving to is a quaint, historic area. Choices for education, aside from homeschooling, are private Catholic schools and public city schools, the latter of which is mired in such a mess of bureaucratic BS that it's hard to tell where education begins and the lofty ambitions of certain board members end. But I digress.

Long story short: there is no viable - for us - safety net. I'm not Catholic and I disagree with how city schools are operated. I'm not trying to sound like a snot; my kids' education is my top priority and everything else is secondary, including the hisses from the peanut gallery.

Frankly, the way I'm feeling ticks me off because I feel as though I've been conditioned to think that I am inadequate when it comes to supplying my child's educational needs. I've even heard homeschooling moms tell me to just make sure I live in an area with a good school system, "as back up." I don't WANT a back up, yet I feel as though I'm mourning the loss of it. I don't want to want a back up. I don't want to have Plan B ready because it almost seems as though I'm admitting failure. "Its the responsible thing to do," says the gallery, as if they're expecting you to fall on your face right there in their presence.

I do not want to rely on a state-ran school system. I don't want to feel as though I have to have the state in the wings, ready to teach my kids when their poor, incompetent mother fails. Our home education is working, it's working great. Liam has flown through his lessons, loves the individualized attention, thrives in playgroups.

A back up. I am aggravating myself with this thought. 

And what would happen if anything happened to me? It's morbid to think of, but one has to when one is the chief executive officer of their child's education. The whole issue has shaken my confidence a bit. Also, the utter chaos that has reigned our house for the past two weeks as we prepared to sell, that also shook my confidence. Friends say that all will be right again once we're moved, unpacked, and can shift back into our old routine at our new house. I hope so. I don't like this feeling.   

My Kids are Behaving Like Angels Throughout It All

It is a very good thing that publishers make packaged curriculum with lessons laid out for each day. I always scoffed and said that I would be the type of mother to use those plans as merely a guide, but I've been uber thankful for them this past week.

I've positively lived real estate since our house officially went on the market last Sunday and I cannot think of anything else. Not only am I grappling with working homeschooling into this insane schedule, but also with people who apparently think that we can swing TWO down payments - ours and THEIRS; which we're not because we enjoy having the middle-class financial allotment to pay for electricity, food, and medicine. The biggest thing I'm struggling with is being a good person and not losing my mind.

It's just really hard to be nice when it seems, from your perspective, that people are demanding that you basically sacrifice your financial stability in order for them to take your house. I want to scream "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" and yell for them to go shop for a house in their price range but yet I also realize that they're (by all accounts) a young couple who are trying the best they can to make a good start in a new house.

This is the first time we've ever sold a house and I NEVER WANT TO DO IT AGAIN. I am done with it. If we have a frillion children we'll just stick them in drawers or something because I am not moving again.

Anyway. Liam was to start with his beginning readers this week but because I felt that we couldn't devote true undivided time to it this week we're saving it for Monday. That he will be reading his own books nearly wipes the stress away.

Packing Tape is REALLY Strong

Bullets are fun for everyone!

- Someone put in an offer on our house and I want to slap them but because I'm trying to model my faith and good behavior for my children, I am refraining from actually doing it. I'm slapping them LOTS in my head though, and I think that only counts for half. Anyway, I am nearly consumed by this real estate stuff.

- Do you know how hard it is to homeschool when prospective buyers arrive at least once a day and you can't make any messes that take longer than fifteen minutes to clean up? I've stolen a tip from one of the moms in our homeschool group and have taken to "shoebox teaching." I have four different shoeboxes hidden in our kitchen hutch: one for math, one for phonics, one for art, one for science. We do one box at a time; it cleans up easily and works WONDERFULLY for when I have to quickly herd the kids into the car and make way for another showing as Liam can pack up his box and take his lessons with him.

- You can easily turn packing into a geometry lesson.

- Packing tape, when taped around liberally by an excitable five-year-old brother, will hold a two-year-old to an empty box quite well.

- You can log that as a science experiment.

- Of course your electricity will go out for an hour in the course of one evening, while you are on deadline, while your children are destroying the order which once reigned their rooms, and of course YOU PACKED THE FLASHLIGHTS and the candle lighters because you are an idiot. And your children will scream and you will accidentally plow over your toddler while looking for him.

It could not get any more awesome.