Is Fear a Lack of Faith?

Today I wrote a post about the work-related stress that’s stretching our family limit. I think they’re circumstances over which any family would freak out. I have every valid reason to be afraid right now, but I’m not. It’s a semi-cross-post, but I’ve learned something fantastic from it.

The quick back story: Chris works as an indie rock producer. It comprises most of our living. He and his business partner are in the process of converting a mammoth, historic building in downtown St. Louis into a state-of-the-art studio. It’s a multi-million dollar project, and when they’re finished, it will be the only studio of its caliber in the Midwest. For this rehab to work, for the building to be a success a plethora of little things all have to work, all must be accomplished. If one step is missed the entire project stalls. Our future financial stability depends on the success of this project. We left corporate America several years ago because we refused to work our lives at jobs we hated. We took a gamble to live our dreams, and so far it’s been a ridiculous success. I mean, we’re not like, rolling around in cash while naked over here or anything – we’ve got enough to live without worrying that the electric will get turned off - it’s just a blessing that I thank God for every single day. This project has to happen for Chris’s business to go to the next level. The studio is booked and they simply need more space. However, it hasn’t been easy. Getting the building off the ground plus working is stressful and time consuming. It’s been the roughest year of our lives. We see that the end is near but we’ve still got a journey to go before we reach it.
Thus the stress.

As I said, I would be perfectly justified if I completely broke down right now, terrified for my future. But I’m not. I’m honestly, 100% not worried. I love the freedom that comes with saying that. But why? This is a milestone in our life as a family, in my and Chris’s marriage. It’s a true test of our strength, our mental toughness. Right now is one of those times that will serve to define us for the future. And yup, still not worried.

I once heard that fear is the absence of faith. If I fear with this, it would seem that I’m demonstrating a lack of faith in God’s plan for us. While God’s plan sort of seems certifiably insane, I trust it. I’m gonna go with Him on it because hi! I once RAN INTO MY OWN CAR AS IT WAS PARKED IN MY OWN DRIVEWAY I’m not about to test God’s judgment. I trust Him. Whatever path He wants to lead us down, I’m for it. Let’s roll.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is over worry: Matthew 6:25 – 33. “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” Obviously, that’s rhetorical. No one can. God knows what we need and won’t slam a door in our face without directing us to another way – this has always been my own personal experience. He even says as much: “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” [MT 6:26]

Or, if you want the short version, Matthew 6:26 says: “I got your back.”

God will provide and I can save the energy I would’ve spent on worrying and put it towards my goal. Honestly, I’ve never seen otherwise. There were times in our past when Chris and I were broker than the average joke. When we married, he had an impressive amount of collegiate debt and I was straight out of college with ZERO savings. I’m not embarrassed in saying that the two darkest days of my life was when the electric company shut us down one sweltering summer morning when Liam was just a few months old; or when I had to leave a cartful of groceries at the store because the card was denied and I couldn’t pay. Something always happened to save the day. I’d pick up a freelance job or a check for a past job would come in or our parents would slip us some cash until the next check came in and we could help ourselves and pay them back.

We’ve come a long way since then; I think all young families do. I don’t worry about what I can’t change and I change what I can control - do for yourself but leave all else for God. I don’t let my kids see me worry obsessively over that which I can’t change either, because it goes against everything that I’ve taught them about God. I’ve told them that He’s omnipotent. Well, if He is, why should I worry? Sometimes the best lesson isn’t so much a lesson as it is a moment in real life.

Comments

[Carrie]

Does this mean if I pray really, really hard He will drop a load of money into my lap?? SWEET! God ROCKS!

[STACEY]

THANK YOU. I NEEDED THOSE WORDS OF WISDOM. WE ALL GO THROUGH TRYING TIMES.

[Dana]

Carrie - YEAH! That's EXACTLY what I was saying.
Well, actually, no. But I think we both knew that already.

[Brandi]

It's always nice to know that things could always be worse, but they will only get better. Chris is lucky he's got a wife that has it together and will support him no matter what. It's the way a marriage is supposed to be.